Girl Double-Standards

*Before we start let me make it clear that this doesn't apply to all women and remember that these blogs are just for fun and entertainment.  If anyone (male or female) gets offended by what I write, you don't have to read my material and you're more then welcome to write your own.  In fact, if your work isn't complete garbage, I'd be more then happy to link it to my readers.  Secondly, (or thirdly i guess) if you get offended by my writing, you're most likely just proving my point or maybe what I write is really true. 


Most of us have standards embedded into our minds on what is right and wrong.  Because of this fact, many of us are blind to our faults and tend to develop hypocritical traits.  Due to the fact that I am perfect (*Not proven) I don't have any double standards (*also unproven).  However, as a man, I have seen my fair share of double standards from the fairer sex.  With that I bring to you My Top Five Girl Double Standards. 

NUMBER 5

GOING OUT

How many guys out there have girlfriends/wives?  Have you ever told them that you were going out with the guys and they started interrogating you?  How long are you gonna be out? When are you gonna be home?  Does Virgil REALLY need to go with you?  It's funny because the majority of the time (as far as most of my guy friends) we end up just hanging out, chopping it up, and chilling.  It's good to have time away to just talk to your "bros" and hear other unintelligent ramblings.  I've heard girls tell me how worried they are that their man is going out to the club and parties and is probably cheating on her.  The main reason why guys go to clubs and parties is to hook up.  Whoever tells you otherwise is full of it.  Why else would single guys willingly go to a smelly and hot place to have girls grind up on them?  The thing is, if your man is doing these things, its either for attention or maybe he does wanna cheat on you.  The funny thing is that while girls get mad at guys for going out and assuming they're doing these things, these things are usually what girls wanna do when they go out!  Woo ladies night! Let's PaAaAaArTaY!  We get the third degree for wanting to hang out but all of a sudden we're some jealous monster if we question your activities?

Guy Going Out

Boy: Gonna go out baby with the guys.

Girl: Oh. Really? Where?

Boy: Probably to Alex' house.  Not too sure exactly whats going on.  I'll let you know though.

Girl: Who's gonna be there?  What exactly are you guys gonna do?  Will there be any girls? How come I'm not invited?  Is Sheilah/Jenny/Alexandria/Shaniqua gonna be there?

Boy: Baby relax!  We're probably gonna just chill, maybe have a drink, and play some cards.  Iono.  Why you trippin?

Girl: OH SO NOW I'M TRIPPIN? Should I have a reason to trip?  Is that what you're saying?  Why do you have to drink?  And you never answered me on whether or not there'll be any girls!  I'm not good enough to play cards with?  Is that why I'm not invited?  Is there something thats happening that you don't want me to know about?  SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK.

Girl Going Out

Boy: Hey baby. Wow you look all dolled up! Where you going?

Girl: OMG WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO JEALOUS!

Sensing a little difference here..

NUMBER 4

DRESS CODE

I'm not gonna lie that I believe "if you've got it, flaunt it."  There's nothing wrong (in my opinion) with showing off your hard work and dedication and being proud of what you've accomplished.  However, I do think that there's a fine line between proud and attention-whoring (don't care if it's not necessarily a real word.)  A lot of girls like to go out with short skirts, or if they wanna be presentable, skin tight pants.  Their tops are just as bad with..well..look at the picture I posted.  I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that, but if you're taken I think maybe you could exercise a little more precaution.  How often have you heard girls get upset that a guy is just looking at me like I'm some piece of meat!  Well, if you weren't parading yourself around with your thong showing, maybe they'd give you a little more respect!  Ladies, I understand that many of you feel the need to feel sexy, but is the perverted eyes of watchful dogs really worth it?  It's amazing how defensive girls get when we criticize their clothing, yet how upset they get when a little bit of our skin is shown!  I've heard girls flip their lid over tank-tops (clothing that many carpenters use), muscle shirts (oOoOo that show off our arms) and even those douchey v-neck shirts!  We're trying to gain the attention of all of these women right?  Because they're obviously looking down our tank-tops trying to see our belly button huh?  The male equivalent of some of the way you women dress would be us walking around in our skivvies with a see through vest.  Yet, we're wrong for dressing with a little skin showing while you're parading around with more body out then covered?

Totally inappropriate..

NUMBER 3

LYING

I usually don't condone lying (except for in certain situations) but everyone slips once in awhile.  Majority of the time, it's not done maliciously but regardless, a lie is a lie right?  I'd love to believe that we live in a world where spouses can be truthful with eachother all the time, but there are a few fuzzy points that need clarification.  For instance, if your lady asks "Do I need to lose weight?"  How would you reply?  If your woman is in great shape, good for you!  If your woman needs to lose a couple of pounds, well, you're in a sticky situation my friend.  If you're honest, hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch!  If you tell her she doesn't, then you've just lied and according to many girls, and I'm quoting: "GuUuRL! You needa DUMP that lying fool!"  Sorry for the similarities to Mr. T, but my point still stands!  Many women like to make a fuss over small things and justify it by saying this is how it starts but they lie to us so nonchalantly!  I've been in way too many situations where a girl just kind of brushed their shoulders off when they lie to their men.  Oh it's only just this once or well, he did this before so he shouldn't get mad!  Being vindictive does not make it okay.  I've heard that it's just a white lie, or that the truth hurts worse, but why is it that you insist we do the exact opposite of what you're doing?  Can any women out there justify why it's okay for you to lie to us, but not okay vice-versa?  For those that can, thank you.  You've just proven the double-standard.

NUMBER 2

JEALOUSY

For those that don't clearly understand what the word Jealousy means, click this wikipedia entry.  Done?  I'm not saying there's really anything wrong with being jealous because oftentimes it's a feeling that we can't help but to have.  However, I think it's wrong when it ends up becoming a problem for a couple.  For instance, how many guys out there have had their women flip out because they see a girl in their call log?  Or possibly leave a comment on their Facebook?  Almost instantly the barrage of questions starts flowing.  Who is she?  Where is she from?  How do you know her?  What's your history?  The moment that you question why she's being jealous, she instantly has a comeback (usually involving us now giving her a reason to be jealous).  Majority of the time, most of these girls are really just friends.  This jealousy stems from our ladies insecurities and they like to believe that it's somehow our fault.  Shouldn't you ladies be happy that something about your man is desireable to other women?  On the other side though, when we question even the slightest thing, we're pegged as being jealous jerks.  Uh Oh! Looks like another boy/girl convo!

Guy Side

Girl: So, I saw a text you got from this girl Jenny the other day.
Boy: Oh yeah she's an old friend. Wait, how'd you see that?
Girl: So, how come I've never met her?
Boy: Iono.  She found me on facebook. Seriously though, how'd you know? Were you going through my phone?
Girl: Don't change the subject! She wrote on August 1st, at 5:02 pm ~ "We should hang out again. Catch up on things..."  What does she mean? Huh? Catch Up?
Boy: Umm..I think she means she wants to ya know.  Catch up?  Like see how life has been?
Girl: You used to like her didn't you!?  Why do you always hide these things from me!? I saw her put at the end of catch up on things dot dot dot.  What is she referring to?   Is she implying something?  And before you say anything, I'M NOT JEALOUS. 

Girl Side

Boy: Hey baby who you chatting with?
Girl: Hold on, I'm talking to Tyler.
Boy: Oh okay. Who's Tyler?
Girl: He's a friend okay? JUST A FRIEND.
Boy: Sorry just wondering.  Oh the one who keeps calling you beautiful on Facebook?
Girl: Why you going through my page?  You keeping tabs on me?  You don't trust me? 
Boy: No its not that.  I was gonna leave you a comment and thought it was kinda weird that some random guy was calling you beautiful knowing you had a man.
Girl: Ugh well maybe he's just appreciating my beauty did you ever think that?  And even if he likes me so what?  It's not like I'm gonna do anything with him anyways! Oh speaking of Tyler, we're gonna go out later and get some drinks.
Boy: I don't know how comfortable I am with..
Girl: That is so like you to be jealous and controlling! I'm a grown woman and you need to grow up too!

yeah that sounds about right..

how bout that drumroll..

NUMBER 1

FLIRTING

Flirting is another touchy subject and is more opinionated then anything else.  My rule is that if I feel wrong about the way I'm talking, then it probably is wrong.  On the other hand, if I don't see anything wrong with what I'm doing, then either someone needs to show me why it's wrong, or I'm gonna continue.  I've read that when you're single, it's considered being friendly; when you're taken, it's flirting.  I don't really agree with that statement but I can understand what they're trying to get at.  Guys sometimes see their girl flirting with other guys and it's kind of obvious when it's happening.  Some touching, lot of laughs and eye contact, and the guy pretending to be jerky causing the girl to respond as such in a playful manner.  Of course, whenever this is brought to their attention, guys are just being paranoid/jealous/jerks.  The moment a guy has a conversation with a girl, it's instantly flirting.  I've been called a flirt before because I made a girl laugh.  Apparently I'm constantly flirting with my guy friends since I always make them laugh right?  I've also been accused for flirting because I offered a snack to a girl while also offering a snack to everyone else around. 

This isn't to say that guys don't flirt and are unaware, it's just that majority of the time what is seen as flirting isn't what we as guys are intending for (at least in my case).  I know for a fact that a lot of my guy friends knowingly flirt while they are taken and I know that nothing will come from their flirting, but their women let their insecurities get the best of them.  The one thing that I want to get across is that if women have the right to be upset at their men flirting, don't be vindictive and try to flirt with other guys because it really just makes you look childish.  For the women reading this let's be honest, haven't you heard a girlfriend of yours say Oh he thinks he can just flirt with any girl out there huh?  I'm gonna go call (random guy name) and see how he's been!  Anybody?  The best part about it is that majority of the time, their girlfriends are egging them on!  Yeah he can't mistreat you or not appreciate you!  Maybe you needa find a man who will!  MmmMm HmmMm!

Guys do you agree?  Better yet, how about you ladies?  Once again, this is just made for fun so don't take it so seriously..Thanks for reading!

N64 Games

The Nintendo 64 is one of my favorite consoles.  It's not hard to see why I love it considering the amount of A+ games that Nintendo churned out.  Nintendo made their share of mistakes with the N64 (which would go on to assist with the Gamecubes woes) like the awkward controller shape, stubborness to switch to disc format (leading many developers to not support the console) and the 64DD add on (not released in NA.)  Regardless of it's flaws, I loved it and this was sadly the last Nintendo home console that I would embrace.  There's nothing wrong with the Gamecube or the Wii, I just don't have the same joy playing those as I did with previous Nintendo consoles.

With that out of the way, here's a list of some games that didn't make it:

Starfox 64 : Excellent game (and the last great Star Fox Title) but didn't really enjoy the multiplayer which contributed to it not making the cut.

Super Smash Bros : The first of the Smash titles and one of the best multiplayer games on the N64. 

Wave Race 64 : I seriously love this game.  The music was so soothing and the water physics were amazing!  I actually played it recently and it's still loads of fun.

Mario Kart : Along with Diddy Kong Racing, these two racers (along with Wave Race) would have easily made the cut had I made a top 10.

Other top titles that didn't make it were: Banjo Kazooie, Jet Force Gemini, Paper Mario, Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask, Mario Party 2, and Pokemon Puzzle League to name a few.

NUMBER 5

SUPER MARIO 64

Nintendo - 1996

Mario's first 3D romp is still widely considered one of the best platformers ever and justifiably so with it's perfect controls, beautifully rendered worlds, and the feel and look of it's predecessors.  Expectations were high considering that Mario has had 4 amazing console titles (not including Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island) and Nintendo definitely delivered.  How many of us still remember that feeling when you first got Mario's flying cap and flew around the first level?  The little theme it played still rings in my head and brings back memories of perfecting Mario's wall jumps, fighting the giant Thwomp, discovering Yoshi on the roof, and of course downing Bowser.  Ported to the DS years ago, if you have yet to play this title, do yourself a favor and go track it down.  I loved it in '96 and I'll probably love it in 2096! *although I'd probably be too old and crabby by then. 

NUMBER 4

GOLDENEYE/PERFECT DARK

Rare - 1997/2000

I chose to make this a dual entry because talks of one of these titles inevitably brings up the other.  I enjoyed both of these games but for different reasons.  GoldenEye was my first extensive experience in a FPS playing multiplayer and me and my friends killed hours in deathmatch.  Whether we played 'Slappies Only' or used the one shot golden gun, we had a blast each and everytime the game was played.  Perfect Dark is considered the spiritual successor to GoldenEye and it really does show.  Mechanics were near identical and aside from a graphical boost, not really much seemed to set it apart.  Two features that I loved about Perfect Dark was it's co-op missions and it's Combat Simulator (up to 4 humans vs 8 computer controlled bots).  While it's deathmatch wasn't as fun (in my opinion) as GoldenEye's, it's these two other features that kept me coming back time after time.  Console gamers owe a lot to these two titles because they're two of the main reasons that console FPS' are thriving today.  Before these two FPS' were mainly computer based or ports. 

*on a side note, have any of you actually tried playing these two recently on the N64?  If not, please don't.  Try to imagine how we were able to control a shooter with only 1 stick.  Yeah it's kinda awkward.

NUMBER 3

WWF NO MERCY

THQ/AKI - 2000

I can't even begin to tell you how many hours were spent playing this game.  Wrestling was much more relevant at the time and No Mercy (in my opinion) is not only one of the best wrestling games ever, but also one of the best games in the N64 library.  If you've played any of AKI's wrestling titles (WCW/nWo World Tour or Revenge and WWF Wrestlemania 2000) then you know how fine tuned their controls were.  Still regarded today as the best (control wise) wrestling title AKI not only improved on its well received control system, but also added a substantial amount of content.  Not only was the cage match brought over from Wrestlemania 2000, but they included the first (as far as I can remember) ladder match option.  There was a "Smackdown Store" where gamers can use their earned in-game currency to unlock new items, moves, characters, etc which they can now use to create their own grapplers in their extensive create a wrestler mode.  The storyline was also pretty fleshed out with branching storylines adapting to how situations unfold (i.e. player winning, losing, being disqualified etc).  I've literally replayed this game about a year ago and aside from some slowdown and blocky textures, this game is still fun.  Playing it brought me back to having friends come by and staying up all night playing games and just having fun beating eachother up.  Even if you weren't a wrestling fan, you still would have enjoyed this fun and deep title.

NUMBER 2

CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY

Rare - 2001

Right behind the king of platforming (Nintendo - Mario) there was Rare.  On the SNES they made the excellent Donkey Kong Country series and to follow up Nintendo's Super Mario 64 they created Banjo Kazooie.  Banjo Kazooie was a fun platformer and was followed by Donkey Kong 64 then Banjo Tooie.  Rare then began showing beta footage of their new platformer titled Twelve Tails: Conker 64.  Did you watch that trailer?  Doesn't it just look like the cutest thing you've ever seen?  Even though Rare released adult titles like Perfect Dark and GoldenEye, the company was getting a reputation for releasing overly cute games starring cuddly animals.  Rare decided to completely scrap the premise for Twelve Tails and instead release one of the most mature titles in the entire N64 library.  Gone was Conker's squeaky voice and cute as a button girlfriend instead replaced with..well..this masterpiece.  Now admit it, that intro looks a heck of a lot better then another bubbly romp in a cuddly world right?  What other game has their "hero" helping a bee "pollinate" a busty flower or fighting one of the greatest bosses in the history of videogames who is literally a singing pile of poo?  Conker spoofed lots of movies before they became cliche like the Matrix, Alien, and A Clockwork Orange.  Conker was also always breaking the 4th wall often engaging the player directly.  The controls were tight and the gameplay had a little bit of every genre mixing third-person shooting, racing, and lots of platforming.  The story was interesting and hilarious, the graphics were gorgeous, and they even included a multiplayer mode which was surprisingly a lot of fun.  My brother and I spent hours upon hours playing through deathmatch, cavemen vs dinosaur mode, and our favorite: the Thieves mode *don't remember the actual names of the gametypes.  In 2005 the game was rereleased with enhanced graphics and gameplay on the Xbox titled Conker: Live and Reloaded.  There was a meaty multiplayer mode added and the graphics still look great (especially compared to some Wii titles).  One of my favorite games ever and deserving of a sequel on the Xbox 360 (or should I say Squeakel?)  Hehe..yeah..anyways..

 *Nice piece of background is that Conker along with Banjo came from Diddy Kong Racing.  Take a look at the top right corner and bottom left of the link there.

Lot of amazing games listed above huh?  Number 1 really shouldn't be a shocker (especially if you know me) but let's see that drumroll really quickly:

NUMBER 1

LEGEND OF ZELDA: OCARINA OF TIME

Nintendo - 1998

I (along with millions of others) consider this to be one of the greatest games of all time.  Link's first foray into the third dimension was (in my opinion) even more graceful then Mario's.  I honestly love this game.  When I first got it, I would play this game, break to eat, play this game, restroom break, play this game, eat and so on and so forth.  I loved the characters, the environment, the weapons, and even the bosses.  I have no shame in admitting that this was the first game (actually only game) that honestly made me feel terrible about beating it.  It's not that the game's resolution is bad, it's just that I didn't want the story to end.  I became attached to Link, his world, and all it encompassed.  At 11 years old this was quite possibly the first piece of media that pulled at my heart strings and nearly brought me to tears (I was an emotional kid!).  Still today I can wax nostalgic with friends about the time spent playing this game, recalling the bosses, characters, and that horrendous Water Temple.  If you know what I'm talking about then there really isnt much that needs to be explained.  The controls were tight, the visuals were stunning, and the music was epic. 

For those out there that don't know the story of Ocarina of Time (all 3 of you) the story is as follows: The fairy Navi awakens Link from a nightmare where he sees an evil man kidnap Princess Zelda of Hyrule.  Navi guides Link to the Great Deku Tree who is dying and warns Link of an evil man from the desert.  Link collects a spiritual stone from the Tree and heads out to meet Princess Zelda who tells of a man who matches the description the Tree gave Link.  The man is named Ganondorf and he's after the Triforce.  Link must recover the 2 other spiritual stones so that he may gain access to the Sacred Realm before Ganondorf does.  I'm gonna leave it at that because the game is supposed to be rereleased on the upcoming 3DS and if you haven't played it before, you have no excuse now.  If you've played Ocarina of Time then you most likely loved it and can share with me the joy that this game brought.  I know I say this a lot but seriously this game is not only one of the best titles on this console, but also one of the best games of all time.

Sorry for the lenghty hiatus.  I went on vacation and then got really busy.  I'm gonna try to make lists more frequently and am gonna try to pump out a non-game related one within the next few weeks.  Any suggestions on topics?

SNES games

I love the Super Nintendo and my brother and I still have ours tucked away for days we wanna spend down memory lane.  With an extensive library of hits and exclusives, having to choose just 5 games on what may possibly be my favorite console of all time is pretty hard.  Once again we're gonna start off with the games that didn't make the cut (for various reasons):

Super Metroid: I know this game is probably amazing, I just never owned it.

Super Mario RPG: This game was retailing at Toys 'R' Us for nearly $69.99! There was no way back in the '90s I could get my parents to buy a game like that for me.

Donkey Kong Country: Very fun game with amazing graphics at the time, just not good enough for my list.

Contra III: The Alien Wars: Weird considering how much I love the Contra series right?  Didn't have the same appeal to me as the original.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors: One of the most fun co op games I've ever played and easily one of the hardest games.  Would have been on my top 10 list.

*There are too many great games so I'm just gonna list out the rest without descriptions:
Actraiser, Final Fantasy II & III, Super Mario Kart, Street Fighter II, Super Castlevania IV, Secret of Mana, Chrono Trigger, F-Zero, TMNT IV, and Mario Paint.

I know that there are many more excellent games I didn't list above, but I just wanted to give you some of the more popular titles to recognize the ones not in my top 5.  With that out of the way, lets jump into..

NUMBER 5

MEGA MAN X

Capcom - 1994

As crazy as it may seem, Mega Man X was the first Mega Man title I ever played or owned.  I remember spending hours trying to beat each level, figuring out which powerup was effective against which boss, discovering secret areas, and of course figuring out how to get Ryu's Hadouken.  I loved the different themes for each level and the small story that the game told, the vibrant colors and the great soundtrack.  I even remember one day that I was close to beating Sigma's last form when my pops called me to the other room; Sigma had 3 hit points and I was down to my last bit of life so I had to pause the game; I looked at Mikey and told him, "Don't touch the controller.  I'm gonna beat the game."  As I'm returning from my parents room, I hear X's trademark death sound and I see my brother looking like this.  Great game nonetheless and definitely recommend you check it out or the remake out now on the PSP.

NUMBER 4

EARTHBOUND

Hal Laboratory - 1995

You know those games that were just brilliant in every way, yet it baffles you that no one else bought them? Like recent titles Okami or Ico, Earthbound (Mother 2 in Japan) was one of those games.  You may have heard of its protagonist Ness from Super Smash Bros fame but unfortunately, that's probably the only history you have about him.  Ness starred in one of the greatest SNES RPGs and sadly one of the most overlooked titles in it's library.  Anyone who has played Earthbound has loved it.  I recently played it for the first time ever and it's quirky humor, witty dialogue, fun battle system, and likeable characters are what make it different from normal RPG fare (at the time see Final Fantasy).  I can't express how enjoyable this title still is today and unfortunately can't help but to feel a little disappointed in it's poor reception here in the states (there are already 3 titles in the Mother series in Japan!)  For a more thorough retrospective, please watch the Happy Video Game Nerd's video and try the game out for yourself. 

NUMBER 3

SUPER PUNCH-OUT

Nintendo - 1994

Super Punch Out is one of those games that I feel doesn't get the respect it deserves.  Most people remember Mike Tyson's Punch Out on the NES, but fail to mention it's (in my opinion) superior sequel on the SNES.  Everything that you loved in the first title (besides Tyson) is back and better then ever.  Better controls, great graphics and sound, more colorful characters, and two new supers add up to one of my favorite sports (technically) titles ever.  In Super Punch-Out you work your way up through lower ranked divisions until you fight for the W.V.B.A. title.  The game starts out simple enough letting you warm up to laughably easy opponents as you learn the games simple yet deep mechanics.  Tune your skills early on because once you get to the big leagues, these opponents will demolish you if you're not quick enough.  After you're done going through the story mode, the appeal of trying to get the fastest KOs or highest score adds to the replayability and with multiple data files, everyone can have their own save.  Download it on the Virtual Console or try to track one down for the SNES.

NUMBER 2

SUPER MARIO WORLD

Nintendo - 1990

If you bought a Super Nintendo then this was the first game you ever played.  Packaged with the system as a launch title, it's pretty funny that the first SNES game was arguably the best on the system.  This game was huge with close to a 100 different levels including secret ones like Star Road.  Each world was divided into islands (similar to SMB3) and these islands all had their unique inhabitants.  Super Mario World introduced us to many Mario staples in the Mario universe but none as important as Yoshi.  With the inclusion of Yoshi, Mario (Or Luigi) had a companion who he could ride and use to get to different places, kill baddies, or unleash various special abilities (blue = flight, red = fireball).  This game is so good that it was rereleased 3 different times (Super Mario All Stars, Super Mario Advance 2, Wii Virtual Console), spawned hardcore rom hacks, and even song hacks (Mega Man fans check 6:00 min mark).  Near perfect controls, fun powerups, multiple ways to finish certain levels, and (similar to Zelda on NES) a changed world once you complete the game!  I loved this game as a kid and still enjoy playing it on my GBA.

Super Mario World is one of my favorite games of all time.  The only other 16-bit game greater is none other then my favorite game of all time..

May as well have that drumroll..

NUMBER 1

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST

Nintendo - 1991

Come on was there really any doubt as to what would be my number 1 choice?  This is my favorite game of all time (beating out 1 N64 title) and whats not to love about it?  Beautiful graphics, a great and timeless story, multiple weapons and upgrades, and one of the best musical scores (dark world theme) of the 16 bit era.  I can recall playing through this game for hours fighting epic bosses, discovering new secrets, and working my way up to the final showdown against Ganon.  The Light/Dark mechanic is still one of the best executed to date and I remember genuinely being sad seeing the state of some parts of Hyrule as it went from Light to Dark.  While the combat was great (with perfect hit detection) the puzzles were creative and never too frustrating.  Some puzzles needed the assistance of a new weapon while others took full advantage of Link's ability to transfer from the Dark World to Light.  After spending hours facing hordes of enemies, discovering new towns and people, and just seeing the overall growth of my character, I couldn't help but to want to play it again.  That's exactly what I did and still find myself doing every couple of years because this game is timeless.  How many kids out there didn't fantasize about becoming a hero and going on a quest to save a beautiful princess?  *for those who said no, please grow an imagination.  Please do yourself a favor and download this on the Virtual Console, track down the original SNES cart, or get the GBA version.  I promise you that you're going to experience one of the best games ever made and my personal favorite game of all time. 

I don't think too many people could argue with my choices this time around and in all honesty, a lot of great games barely missed the cut.  Most of the above titles had great soundtracks but one of my all time favorite video game songs is Donkey Kong Country 2's Stickerbrush Symphony.  Such a beautiful song and I just wanted to share this great song with everyone.  Anyways, what's your top 5 SNES games?  Thanks again for reading! Make sure to vote!

NES Games

The Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) was the first video game system I ever played.  It's so far back in my memory that the earliest recollection I have of it was playing it on Saturdays with my brother when I was about 6.  According to my parents, however, I actually beat Super Mario Bros when I was 2 years old.  With a library of hundreds of games, choosing my personal top 5 is a lot harder then it seems.  Keep in mind that these are the 5 games that I enjoyed, not necessarily the ones I think are most influential or even best designed.  With that in mind here are the games that didnt make the list:

*these are GREAT games, just not my personal favorites

Mega Man 2: One of the best soundtracks of all-time, tight controls, ridiculously fun and hard.  Beat it and loved it as a teen but it lacks a nostalgic factor due to me playing it so late.

Castlevania Series: Loved Symphony of the Night on PS, but sadly didn't really get into the originals as a kid.

Metroid: Sorry..it kinda, just bored me as a kid.  Made it up to Mother Brain as an adult, but nowadays its pretty unplayable.

Legend of Zelda: WHAT? Yeah I love/loved this game, but it just barely missed the cut along with..

Punch-Out: So much fun, but you're ranked number 7 right behind..

Double Dragon 2: I had so much fun with this game.  Like Battletoads this was one of my favorite side scrolling beat em ups.

**I didn't own these games below, therefore no matter how great they were, I wouldn't know (some I've tried recently and they are excellent, just don't hold up well to me today)

Ninja Gaiden Series
Duck Tales/Rescue Rangers
Journey to Silius
Star Tropics

With those out of the way, lets start our list off with..

NUMBER 5

BUBBLE BOBBLE

Taito - 1986

My brother and I used to argue a lot, but one thing that helped shut us up was playing video games.  Bubble Bobble is one of those games that forces you to play with a partner (only way to gain the happy ending) meaning me and Michael had to stop arguing and work together.  Literally, even if you went through all the levels, beat the final boss, and saved the girls, your ending is not complete unless you beat it with a friend.  You play as Bub and Bob (creative names huh?), two dragons who use bubbles to trap enemies and burst them through 100 levels on your quest to save your girlfriends.  Simple enough premise right?  Along the way you gain powerups, need to use precise platforming skills, and sometimes teamwork to defeat each enemy to move onto the next level.  The sound effects are enjoyable along with a catchy tune that loops throughout the games entirety (besides the final boss).  It recently was rereleased on the XBLA so I recommend you check out the redone Bubble Bobble. 

NUMBER 4

CONTRA

Konami - 1987

Contra is by far one of the greatest co-op games (and series for that matter) ever created.  For those who played the arcade version, I'm sorry to tell you, you missed out.  Contra on the NES was close to the arcade version but with longer levels, more bosses, and better in pretty much every way imaginable.  Awesome soundtrack, tight controls, fun and varied levels, great visuals, and very minimal story (at least in the American version.)  This was one of those games where all you needed to do was push start (or put the konami code in first) and drop right into the action.  You run and gun to the right (some segments require you progress forward) as you pick up powerups (everyone loved the Spread) and face up against epic bosses.  My brother and I spent days playing this game over and over and could easily pick the game up today and have a blast.  If you didn't play Contra on the NES as a kid, hunt down a copy and enjoy some of the best co-op gaming from the '80s. 

NUMBER 3

SUPER MARIO BROS 3

Nintendo - 1988 (Japan) 1990 (US)

Most of you are probably surprised by this selection aren't you?  Not because it's on my list (frankly it should be on every top 5 best NES games) but because it's ranked as low as it is.  Regarded not only as one of the best NES games, but one of the greatest games of all time, it's understandable as to why people would argue it's low ranking here.  Don't get me wrong though, I loved SMB3 and still have fun playing it today.  Great soundtrack, incredibly creative and sometimes odd powerups (Tanooki suit?) and characters, this game was insane.  There were tricks and secrets hidden all over, multiple worlds with different themes, minigames, new characters (Koopa Kids), and timelessly tight controls.  The fact of the matter is, I do feel it should be regarded as one of the best of all time.  However, I honestly didn't find myself popping this cartridge into my system as often as my 2nd and 1st choice.  After I would beat this game, I'd kinda get bored and not touch it for a few months.  Amazing game regardless of ranking.

NUMBER 2

RIVER CITY RANSOM

Technos - 1989 (Japan) 1990 (US)

Wow look at that awesomely bad box art!  Pretty horrible huh?  Don't let the art fool you though because inside the box was one of the best side scrolling co-op brawlers released on the NES.  Taking cues from games like Double Dragon (even having you fight the "Dragon Twins" as bosses) River City Ransom had everything Mikey and I could want in a two-player game.  You play Alex and Ryan as they try to save River City High and Ryan's girlfriend from rival gangs.  The controls are similar to Double Dragon's giving you free control along the screen letting you jump, kick and punch enemies along the way.  The game also has many RPG elements allowing players to upgrade their stats as well as purchase new moves.  These upgrades can be purchased in towns (as well as some secret areas) and there are even other people to talk to.  This game doesn't take itself too seriously and because of this there are lots of genuinely funny moments especially in the dialogue.  Funny story, great gameplay, multiple upgrades, and tight controls make up one of my favorite NES games of all time.

As you could tell, multiplayer (primarily co-op) played a huge role in many of my choices.  However, this last game is a single player game and I'm sure pretty much no one out there will agree with my number 1 choice. 

Let's see that drumroll..

NUMBER 1

KIRBY'S ADVENTURE

Hal Laboratory (Nintendo) - 1992 (Jap) 1993 (US)

 

Show of hands on how many expected this?  No one?  No one out there believes thinks this should be number 1?  I can't begin to describe to you how much fun I had with this game.  Nintendo was already well on their way with the Super NES and most forgot about the NES by '93 but Hal Labs was working on a 2nd title (first being on the GameBoy) to their Kirby franchise.  One day Kirby wakes up from a nap realizing that he didn't dream.  Kirby decides to investigate the Fountain of Dreams and finds out that King Dedede has stolen the Star Rod and broken it into 7 different pieces, giving 6 to his friends and keeping one for himself.  The Star Rod is the source of the fountains power and without it everyone has grown restless.  Kirby sets off on an adventure to recover the Rod from Dedede!  This was the premise of Kirby's Adventure and it was a great way to start this incredible journey.  You travel through different worlds, each bright and beautiful, battling different waves of enemies, minibosses and final bosses.  Much to peoples surprise, Kirby didn't gain the power to absorb his enemies abilities until his second romp (along with his now trademark pink shade.)  I remember many weekends spent playing through this game, trying to find all the secrets, increasing my high score, enjoying the minigames, and being genuinely surprised at the ending (play the game, or if you have to, youtube it.)  The soundtrack was a joy to listen to as was experimenting with all the cool powerups.  This was classic Nintendo platforming and a true testament to how much life the NES still had at this time.  Some have argued that this game is great, but lacking in depth; I think this game has a lot of replayability and can be enjoyed multiple times through.  Kirby's Adventure had multiple save files too so you could easily just save and continue another day (don't laugh! This wasn't a mandatory feature in all NES games!)  There's so much more I could go on about with Kirby like the fun bosses, great and funny characters, perfect controls (balancing jumping, flying, inhaling, attacking, etc) but if you haven't played this game, do yourself a favor and check it out.  Classic NES gaming at it's finest and if you can't locate an original copy, download it on the Virtual Console or track down the GBA remake. 

I'm sure there are tons of opinions out there and most likely all of you probably disagreed with my choices.  Try to understand that nostalgia played a key factor into many of these choices so if you don't like mine, why not list your top 5 below?  It's a lot harder then it looks considering the crazy amount of great NES titles there are.  Thanks for reading and I'll be posting a new game list within the week!

People Who SUCK at their Jobs

Has anyone else ever seen professionals and thought "How did they make it?  They suck yet people are paying millions of dollars to see their sub par work?"  I'm sure I'm not the first person to notice some of these "Pros" and think to myself that there are way more capable people who could easily do much better jobs, yet for some reason these individuals were blessed with some type of "It" factor.  Of course "It" could easily be confused (at least in these cases) as being in the right place at the right time, but that's besides the point.  These five are baffling in the fact that they're as popular as they are, make millions upon millions, and are in some cases still growing in popularity.  This isn't to say that I dislike these five, actually in all honesty I truly do like them aside from one individual, but to just point out that they really aren't very good at their professions.

Before I begin I'd just like to remind everyone that these lists are mainly meant to be humorous and not taken too literally.  Also, it's okay to disagree with me because these lists are 100% opinionated meaning you're entitled to your own.  Of course my opinion far outweighs any of yours (probably due to the fact that most of you are too lazy to compose your own lists) and with that lets start the list!

*That last part above was a JOKE.  I thank all five of you out there for continuing to read my work and am grateful that people actually care (or are bored enough) to read the stuff I write.

NUMBER 5

KEANU REEVES

ACTOR?

Everyone knows who Keanu Reeves is and to say his acting is stiff is kind of like beating a dead horse.  I still feel that he's worth addressing because of the fact that he still gets work and throughout the years of being in film, he hasn't changed in the least.  Go to google images and search for Keanu Reeves.  Better yet, here's a link.  Do you see it?  ALL THE PICTURES LOOK THE SAME!  Same tired and lost look with just different features.  I've enjoyed some of his films (The Matrix, The Replacements) and he was perfectly cast in other roles (Bill and Ted movies, The Day The Earth Stood Still) but his blandness and bored execution leaves much to be desired. 

NUMBER 4

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN

ACTOR?

Let me get one thing out of the way: I love Christopher Walken!  With that said, sadly he's a terrible actor.  You can always tell that he's reading his lines and his presentation is just downright weird.  His awkward presentation is shown here in a top 11 list by the Nostalgia Critic.  It's hard to deny the strange mannerisms that make Christopher Walken entertaining, but it's that awkwardness that adds to his charm.  Even the way that he dances is weird as shown in this fat boy slim video.  The strangest thing though about Walken is that you can't help but to like him.  He's hilarious in comedies and creepy in scary roles.  I recommend you go and watch his SNL skits and tell me that you didn't laugh.  Seriously.  Go google em or something.  I love watching Walken act, but the bottom line is that he's not very good, leaving him with a fitting number 4 slot on my list.  

NUMBER 3

JOHN CENA

WRESTLER

John Cena has incredible charisma, a ridiculous build, and a charm probably only previously seen in The Rock.  Sadly, Cena also shares the same wrestling ability as The Rock.  I enjoyed watching The Rock wrestle (at times) and the same can be said for Cena but the truth is that they closely resemble wrestlers like Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior.  While some may feel that these are compliments, if anyone has really watched those old wrestlers "fight" then you can attest to how uneventful their matches were.  With a combined arsenal of possibly 12 moves, the main things that distinguish these wrestlers are their "finishing moves" and even those seem to be boring.  An elbow drop, a leg drop, and an overhead slam are all downright yawn-inducing and if it wasn't for these wrestlers larger then life personalities, they'd just be another coulda-been trying to make it big.  I will say that Cena is a workhorse and his drive is admirable, but that doesn't change the fact that he's not that good of a wrestler. 

NUMBER 2

UWE BOLL

DIRECTOR/VIDEO GAME BUTCHER/CRITIC BULLY

For anyone out there that knows me, you know that I love video games and would love to see some competent movies based on my favorite franchises.  Uwe Boll is possibly the main reason that no studio will even risk venturing into video game territory.  Director of such classics like Alone In the Dark or the brilliant House of the Dead movies Boll is starting to be known as the Ed Wood of his time.  Boll is the one person on this list that I truly do not like and it's not just because of him possibly killing the hopes of great movies based on video games, but because the guy is also a douche!  He's actually staged boxing matches against critics of his films (which hold an average metacritic score of 18) and called out anyone who would slander his films.  He's badmouthed other directors and took advantage of German Tax Laws meaning no matter how bad his films tanked, he still took home a profit.  He doesn't even bother polishing his films and has even spliced in Video Game footage (House of the Dead.)  You can even see someone who was "dead" in one of his films actually get up and walk off set (Alone In The Dark.) 

Boll would easily take the number one spot but the truth is that he's not consistently raking in million of dollars and his work is known worldwide as being awful.  The number one spot is reserved for a group that is an international sensation and continues to grow in popularity.

drumroll please..

NUMBER 1

THE BLACK EYED PEAS

RAPPERS/SINGERS..SORTA..

The Black Eyed Peas are easily one of the hottest groups on the planet, churning out hit after hit for the past few years.  I have to admit that their tunes are infectious and once you hear them, you'll be humming them in your head all day.  The thing is, have you ever taken a moment to truly listen to the content of their songs?  Last years I Got a Feeling's first minute and a half had the words I got a feeling, that tonights gonna be a good night. That tonights gonna be a good night.  That tonights gonna be a good good night. Feeling.  Throw in a couple woo-hoos, state the days of the week and speak a little hebrew and there's the main content of 2009's blockbuster hit.  How about their Fergie heavy hit My Humps?  More great lyrics follow: Whatcha gon do wit all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?  I'ma get get get get you drunk.  Get you love drunk off my humps.  My humps my humps, my hump my hump my humps; my hump my hump my humps. my lovely lady lumps; check it out.  Fergie and Will. I. Am are pretty much the heart of this group while the other two aren't really even memorable.  You have the filipino guy with the fat accent (APL) and the guy who umm..contributes by..well..the long haired guy (Taboo).  I enjoy some of their music, but they really aren't lyrically there (although I give a lot of credit to Will I. Am's great beats!)

Disagree?  Agree?  Any honorable mentions you think deserve a slot?  Hope you enjoyed reading this and I'll try my best to release a new list a lot sooner then later.

Rhythm/Music Games

Its pretty obvious that I love video games, but one thing that some might not know is that I'm a very big fan of music games.  I've been a big fan of music games before the recent explosion of peripheral based games and still get excited when I see new music based concepts come out.  Before I give you my list however, I want to first set some rules:

1. No Music Hybrid Games: The games on this list are either focused on you contributing directly to the music (dancing, providing the beat), or are more music based then any other genre (that means no Rez, Lumines, Chime)

2. No Arcade Games: There are tons and tons of arcade titles out there and your opinion can increase/decrease depending on how many tokens you're pumping in. (no DDR)


Keep in mind that these are my opinions and I left off a lot of very popular games because frankly, I didn't really enjoy them.  So heres My Top Five Rhythm/Music Games!

NUMBER 5

AMPLITUDE

PS2 ~ 2003 - by Harmonix

Amplitude is the sequel to another Harmonix released game known as Frequency.  Frequency popularized the music track scrolling down as the player pressed buttons to play instruments.  While Frequency was great, Amplitude improved on most all levels.  You played as some blocky DJ (im assuming) as you controlled different tracks with different instruments.  You'd transfer mid-song from instrument to instrument to continue the song flow.  Songs would have you controlling the guitar, drums, piano, fx, and vocals all while gaining powerups which could help your performance or score.  You play the instrument which track you're on for a short sequence and if successful, you capture that instrument for a limited amount of time (meaning you don't have to attempt that specific track for a little while).  It might sound confusing, but just check this video out.  No..You'll never be that good. 

This game looks familiar huh?  That's because Harmonix started the Guitar Hero franchise (now under Activision) and because they're also famous for..

NUMBER 4

ROCK BAND 2

2008 ~ Harmonix/MTV Games

You know what game I'm talking about.  Everyone knows and/or has heard of Rock Band.  The game where you can play the guitar, bass, drums, or sing.  It's been ported to all the major consoles including the portable ones like the DS, PSP, and even iPhone.  Rock Band was the first of a string of band related games including their rival franchise  Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Guitar Hero: Metallica, Beatles Rock Band, and the upcoming Green Day Rock Band.  The band games peaked in my opinion, with Rock Band 2.  The selection of music was more varied (and more fun), the tour mode was better, and no other music game out there has done its online features better.  With Rock Band 2 you could transfer the entire library of the first game for only 5 dollars!  Throw in the fact that there are hundreds (no exaggeration) of albums, singles, and user created songs that are available and you're given the ultimate music party game.

NUMBER 3

RHYTHM HEAVEN

Nintendo DS ~ 2009 - Nintendo

Originally released in Japan as Rhythm Tengoku Gold, Rhythm Heaven showed that not all music games have to be cliche.  You practically never control any instruments, yet you are integral to the music and (obviously) its rhythm.  If any of you are familiar with the WarioWare series (another great franchise) then just imagine those games slightly modified to include music.  For those unfamiliar, in Rhythm Heaven you are given a slew of minigames which require you to do some tasks like karate chopping objects on beat, making a monkey clap along to a concert, or controlling a frog as you dance.  Not all games are as fun but as an overall package, the game delivers.  Very enjoyable and with a ton of unlockable goodies, this game will have you coming back for more.  The game may look too cute for "manly men" but its charm is undeniable. 

NUMBER 2

ELITE BEAT AGENTS

Nintendo DS ~ 2007 - iNiS (Nintendo)

This is another game that first became popular in Japan and was later transferred to the US and it truly shows.  Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! was the original Japanese name for Elite Beat Agents and roughly translated to Hey! Fight! Cheer Squad!  The difference between Agents and Rhythm Heaven is that Elite Beat Agents is almost entirely different from its Western counterpart.  Its true that the gameplay is unchanged, but the settings, characters, and songs were completely different from the US and Japan.  You play the agents who are on a mission to help the world out with their problems, sometimes involving taking care of babies, escaping an island, or probably the most memorable (also saddest) situation where you're helping a family cope with the loss of a loved one.  Its a stylus game which has you pressing buttons on key and sometimes guiding them to the right position.  The songs comprise of 3-5 scenes and if you get a good enough score for the scene, you get a good cutscene to watch.  Fail and..well..you should try it just for its entertainment.  The wacky characters, insane animations, and nice music selection make Elite Beat Agents a great music game even after 3 years.  If you have yet to play this game you can pick it up for dirt cheap on amazon or any used videogame store.  

 I love music games (like I've said before) and as long as developers make them, I'll continue playing them.  Many of the games I enjoyed (including my number 2 pick) I was introduced to by family members.  My number 1 pick was also introduced to me by my family and sadly, most people probably have never heard of it.  If you think that its one of these:

Parappa the Rapper
Gitaroo Man
Guitar Hero
Space Channel 5
Donkey Konga
Samba De Amigo

..Im sorry, but you'd be wrong.  Those are all great games (Donkey Konga is kind of suspect) but my pick dates back to the playstation 1..

drumroll please..

NUMBER 1

BUST A GROOVE 1 & 2

Playstation ~ 1998-2000 - Enix

Known as Bust a Move in Japan, Enix couldn't release these titles under their original names because Taitos bubble popping game already claimed that title in America (also known as Puzzle Bobble).  Bust a Groove was simply fun.  Its songs were catchy, the characters were great, the visuals were nice (still hold up decently today) and to reemphasize, the game was simply fun.  You controlled a dancer as they battled against other dancers on different stages.  You dictated their movements by imputting a combo of moves with the D-Pad, followed by a button press on every fourth beat.  The more of these you do in a row, the higher your "Groove" becomes.  The higher your "Groove" is, the closer you are to "Freezing" which makes you invulnerable and gives you the maximum points allowed during a combo.  Why would I need to be invulnerable James?  Invulnerability is necessary because you're given two weapons which you can use mid song against your opponent to try and throw them off their "Groove."  You can dodge these moves or take a risk in trying to reverse them against your opponent.  The franchise released 3 games (one was sadly a Japan exclusive for the PS2) and didn't really seem to catch a big enough audience.  Due to this reason, the games are now seen as rare and can easily fetch over $30 used!  I bought my copy of Bust a Groove 2 back in 2004 used at Gamestop and it was $29.99!  If you do happen to come across a copy, I highly recommend you check it out.  It may just be nostalgia talking, but I loved this game and would gladly play with anyone who wants to check the game out.

That concludes my top music games.  Agree?  Disagree?  Would like to try one of these games out with me?  Let me know in my comment box and thanks for reading!

*Dont forget to vote! Seriously..doesn't require anything more then a couple mouse clicks*