Douchiest Gym Habits

For anyone out there who's known me for a few years, you probably know that I like the gym.  Thats not to say that I go on a consistent basis (scheduling problems, work, laziness) but I do like the gym.  One thing that I can't stand though when I go are the douchebags.  Yes I'm sure that anyone who's ever been to a gym (Bally, 24 Hour Fitness, Golds) has seen them and I'm sure you have your own definition of a douche.  Today though, I'm giving you my top 5 douchiest gym habits. 

Before anyone asks, YES I'VE SEEN ALL OF THESE FIRSTHAND.


On to the list....

NUMBER 5

NOT RERACKING WEIGHTS

Now this isn't necessarily a douchebag move, but more of an annoyance.  I've seen so many people grab dumbells and just leave them lying on the floor.  Are you coming back?  Do you just need water?  Are you doing multiple exercises?  More often then not, guys don't put thier weights back due to laziness. 

You're at the gym.  Why be lazy there?

Speaking of doing multiple exercises, it kinda irks me to see people monopolizing workout space.  The gym is supposed to be shared but a lot of these douches claim territories like dogs but instead of pissing on everything, they just mark it with their sweat.  I understand using a couple machines, but when you're branching out to using three different machines and not allowing anyone else to work in, you're a douche.

NUMBER 4

DROPPING YOUR WEIGHTS

This seems to be one of the three douchebaggy musts at the gym (the other two being sunglasses and tanktops).  There are situations where I can understand dropping the weights like if you don't have a partner and truly can't do another a rep.  But the problem is, that most of the guys dropping weights really shouldn't be doing it.  I've seen guys do flys with 100 lb dumbells and then slowly lower the weight to the floor or their knees.  On the other hand, I've seen a guy drop 35 lb dumbells after dumbell pressing them.  35 pounds.  Thirty-Five.  I can curl more then you bench and you're dropping that weight?  Other times I've seen guys getting spotted and then when its time to put the weights back down, instead of having their spotter help them lower the weights, they'd rather just drop em to the ground (sometimes letting the weight bounce and hitting their spotter.)  Apparently now though, guys are being taught to show how manly they are, by dropping weights after they're done with them.  This mainly happens with dumbells but I've seen guys doing overhead shoulder presses with barbells and then dropping them from above their heads.  WHY?  Take some time at the gym to look around and I guarantee you that you'll find someone throwing their weights when they're done with them.  Stop it!  It's not cool and it just makes you look like a douche.

Don't you DARE throw that dumbell!

NUMBER 3

MAKING A SPECTACLE OF YOUR WORKOUTS

I'm sure that we've all seen someone at the gym lifting an insane amount of weight right?  Something that we probably couldn't even imagine doing ourselves.  I'm not necessarily talking about all those guys specifically, but I'm focusing on the ones who try to make it a show.  There's this guy I see at the gym (we call him King Kong) and he is the epitomy of spectacles.  He comes in wearing goggles, a weight belt, and a backwards cap and always has a stack of magazines.  He waltzes in to the benching area and proceeds to put on five 45 lb plates on each side of the bench press.  For those out there without basic math skills, thats 495 lbs (including the 45 lb barbell.) 

About 500 lbs for those needing a visual

But thats not the end of the show he's putting on. 

He then decides to pull out handcuffs.

Yes...handcuffs and decides to handcuff himself to the bar. Why?  Now, the whole gym seems to be focusing on this one badly dressed individual.  Seeing as how he has everyones attention, he makes the required manly grunts and lowers himself under the bar.  He then grips the bar tightly, right hand first then left.  He makes one last gruff grunt and then...sits back up, uncuffs himself from the bar and then reracks his weights.  WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?  Why do people like that need to be the center of attention at the gym?  You're going to the gym to get in shape and look better so you can put on a show outside the gym. 

Oh well...at least he reracked his weights right?

NUMBER 2

FLEXING

Now before I get some hatemail, let me clear things up first: Flexing has many benefits.  Flexing can be used to pinpoint muscles that need work, help max out a burn after a hard workout, and even help to give a person greater control of their individual muscles.  With that out of the way, I'd like to focus on the guys out there who flex after every set.  You know who you are!  These guys flex as if their lives depended on it!  Finish a set, time to flex.  Rerack my weights, flex while doing it.  Getting some water, flex as I press the water button.  These guys aren't flexing for any of the benefits that I discussed above.  These guys are flexing because they wanna show off their muscles.  The sad part is that most of the guys flexing, look like...

You get the picture...

These skinny guys are the most notorious for flexing.  You've seen them in their tanktops, often in groups of three, hovering around one bench.  They do one set, then congratulate eachother for pushing out another hardcore rep as they start to flex in front of the mirrors.  Whats even worse is that these flexers often have these pompous looks on their faces.  They'll look around the gym, puff out their chests, and act like they're awesome.  You're not awesome, your body sucks, and you're not strong.  My pops over the age of 40 can bench 300 lbs.  My uncle Joe's arms are bigger then both of your thighs...TOGETHER.  They, can flex all they like.  You, scrawny bob, should be embarassed.  With your noodle arms...

Unks and Pops arms.

You know, a lot of guys like flexing at the gym because they wanna show off.  They think that they might impress people. This brings me to...

DRUMROLL PLEASE

ratatatatatatatatatatatatatat

NUMBER 1

HOLLERING AT WOMEN

Why do people go to the gym?  I think we can agree that its primarily used to get in shape for either health reasons, or just for asthetics.  Women are no different from us men in that regard right?  One thing that I think women can agree with me here is that they dont go to the gym to get oogled.  I don't think that they get dolled up to go sweat and work it out at the gym.  I'm not saying that its wrong to look or even admire someone while they're at the gym (some people get turned on by sweat), but when you outstep your boundaries and invade their private space, you're a douche.  You have no idea how many times I've seen girls get approached by guys "trying to help them out."  Often times I see the awkwardness that follows where the guy tries to feed her lines like "hey maybe we can workout sometime" or "why don't you give me your number so I can give you some pointers."  PLEASE!  Most girls (smart ones at least) can usually see right through your "kind gestures" and would like nothing more then for you to get away.  They know what they're doing and they don't need some douchebag coming up pretending like they're trying to provide some assistance.

Thanks but I think I know how to use the treadmill!

Guys please listen: these girls at the gym are exercising so that they can impress and look great outside of the gym.  There's a reason why there are gyms specifically designed for women only.  Stop trying to pick up women at the gym.

There's nothing wrong with being friendly or assisting.

But you're not really trying to be friendly are you?

Douche...

This is my top 5 douchiest gym habits.  Do you agree or disagree?  Leave me some feedback. 

I put up a new review or top 5 every week so if you have any ideas, just let me know!